In your everyday life, do you feel like you’re in control?
Do you feel comfortable in your skin as a man?
Do you feel like you’re experiencing real fulfillment in your relationships, in your career, in your day to day?
OR, do you often feel like you’re walking on eggshells?
Do you find yourself tip-toeing around people, in particular, women?
Do you reserve your true feelings and wants and needs so as to not “offend” HER?
If you feel uncomfortable, or if you are unsure about any of the above questions, chances are there’s a deep disconnect with you and your masculinity. And you know what brother, you’re definitely not alone here.
There’s a mass amount of men, especially in our current times, that have been dissuaded from masculinity as it’s become a synonym for various toxic traits, i.e. loud, aggressive, brutish, bullying, greedy, etc. Many have also come to equate it with the stereotypical alpha male which has the above characteristics and is looked at as the VILLAIN of our world. This, along with the feminist movement and all of its propaganda, has unfortunately turned a lot of men against their own innate and NATURAL masculinity. And this means we have a whole generation of men who refuse their MANHOOD and completely reject a strong part of their inner POWER which is their MASCULINITY.
For some, the denouncement of masculinity comes from a personal rejection of their father or the father figure they grew up with. As men from prior generations were a bit more hard-nosed and disconnected from what they may have considered to be soft or feminine traits. So we had “old school” men who didn’t express their feelings to their children or “connect” with them in an emotional way. This left a lot of sons wishing they knew this part of their fathers and/OR it completely turned them into “rebels” by taking the stance of “I’m NOT going to be a cold, heartless old man like my father, I’m going to be in touch with my feminine side and actually talk to my kids and express how I FEEL!”
Now, there’s SOME validity to this attitude but what CANNOT be discarded is man’s innate and NATURAL MASCULINITY. This is CRUCIAL and foundational for the full development of any MAN as it’s essentially connected to ALL things in a man’s life.
To put it simply…
MASCULINITY IS YOUR MAIN SOURCE OF POWER.
It’s innate. A natural part of you as a MAN. To deny this is to default yourself to a life of powerlessness, weakness, dependence on others, being insufficient, and inadequate to life itself. Masculinity grounds a man. Keeps him centered and in tune with his natural strength – physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
A masculine man is INDEPENDENT.
He is content in his own skin and doesn’t NEED anyone or anything to give him fulfillment. He doesn’t fall to his knees just because an attractive woman shows him some attention or flirts with him. He doesn’t doesn’t run from his responsibilities or choke up and stumble because of a stressful situation. He stays cool, calm and collected in his own domain. To become masculine means to become independent of your childish neediness, of your insecurities, of your thirst to be ‘liked’ or to ‘be part of the crowd.”’ A true man can walk alone through the world without issue because he’s at one with himself.
A masculine man has a STRONG MIND.
He knows who he is, what he wants, and how to get it. This requires a solid amount of confidence, in particular, mentally. He’s thought through what he wants, his goals and plans for life, and trusts his intentions. He has the ability to move through life with assurance and even if he happens to make a mistake, he’s positive he can pivot and bounce back on track without much trouble. A masculine man is DECISIVE in this way. He is able to make mindful decisions quickly and intuitively without fear of failure or of looking foolish. He doesn’t get thrown off course or distracted by other people’s opinions or doubts. This takes a certain strength that comes directly from masculinity.
Masculinity is really the ONE thing that attracts WOMEN.
If you had to name the one quality that all women throughout history have been attracted to in men, it’s MASCULINITY. This is a FACT. The natural attraction from a woman, a woman who is even remotely in touch with her FEMININITY, is drawn to a MASCULINE man. It’s the basic law of natural attraction – MAN and WOMAN. The current and more recent agenda of radical feminism and other propaganda will have us think that we’re “progressing” out of this. Out of our natural and BIOLOGICAL state as people. This is dangerously false and can only lead to our demise.
A lot of younger men who typically have issues with women, have been brainwashed to believe that their MASCULINITY doesn’t matter. Or that being a man is BAD, and hence they become even less attractive to women and spiral further down into isolation and depression. Simply put, if you want to attract women, you NEED masculinity! It’s the timeless dynamic of our human species – Masculine + Feminine. Despite what the mainstream has told you, women want a man… a real man!
AS A MAN, HOW DO YOU EVEN BEGIN TO COME TO TERMS WITH YOUR MASCULINITY?
Masculinity is not something you ‘nurture’ or come to ‘find’ per se. It is something you ACCESS. It is first and foremost a decision! It’s already in you. As a man, you were born with it. To access it, you need to UNBLOCK yourself, get out of your own way in many ways. This means stripping away the mental attachment to the idea that masculinity is bad. This is pure propaganda and complete BS and should no longer be acknowledged, much less taken at all seriously.
One crucial thing you need to dig into is the root of WHY you think ‘being masculine’ is bad. As mentioned above, does it come from your experience with the men in your life from your youth? Your father or other male figures? For some it can stem from negative language like “that’s so typical for a man” or “all men are dogs” or “men are good for nothing” or other cliche things people (mainly women) may have told you in frustration and anger. Or, some guys who, as boys, were raised by mothers who taught them how they should treat women with rules such as:
- You should always treat a woman like she’s special
- Always put the woman first
- Always be a gentleman
- Take care of the woman under any circumstance
These things aren’t ALL wrong but they also aren’t specific enough. To an immature mind, a young man may interpret these points to apply to ALL WOMEN which doesn’t truly add up. You want to treat the RIGHT WOMAN, a quality woman, a woman who mutually respects and cares for you, with the above “rules.” Otherwise, you can easily waste a lot of time and energy on the wrong person just because she’s a “woman.” This is NOT what being a man is about. You don’t get any extra points in life for taking care of a woman who doesn’t deserve it.
To help you get closer to the root of your masculinity, ask yourself these questions as honestly as you can. You’ll recognize some of these questions from the top of this article. It’s important that you write them down so you can see the words in front of you and take time to think about each one and answer them for yourself.
When you’re walking through life:
Do you feel comfortable in your skin as a man?
In your mind, and in your daily life, do you feel like a real man?
Do you feel like you have power? – In a good and natural sense. For example, do women find you attractive? Do others respect you and take you seriously?
When you speak, do people look you in the eye and respond in a way that lets you know they are really listening?
Do you feel like you’re experiencing real fulfillment in your relationships, your career, your day to day?
Do you feel like you’re in control of your life?
Or do you often feel like you’re walking on eggshells?
Do you find yourself tip-toeing around women?
Do you reserve your true feelings and wants and needs so as to not “offend” her?
Are you more or less afraid that she may find out what you REALLY want?
These are some basic but ESSENTIAL questions to ask yourself in relation to how in tune you may be with your masculinity. It’s a way to measure how much is missing or needing real attention in your life. And if this is affecting your love life, remember, all a woman really wants is to FEEL your masculinity. But this has to be REAL. It is not something you can fake. The only way there is to BECOME a man. And this takes intentional work. You have to get out of just thinking about it and into your body. Being a man is of mind, body, AND spirit. It’s all of the above. There’s no shortcut or secret password to it. You HAVE to want it and you MUST do the work.
This is what I teach. It’s what I specialize in. If you’d like to take control of your journey and start experiencing life as a MAN of significance, the man you were born to be, reach me at [email protected] and type MASCULINITY in the subject line. I’ll contact you personally to see how we can get started on your masculinity journey.