As a masculinity coach, one of the most common issues I see among men is putting women on a pedestal. Men often think that by constantly admiring a woman and putting her above others, including himself, they will magically win her over and make her fall in love with them. This NEVER works.
The fact is, after working with thousands of women, I can tell you first hand, they HATE being put on a pedestal. They see you as a simp, a pushover, someone they can easily take advantage of if they choose to. What they DON’T see is a MAN, someone that they can take seriously.
What confuses men is the lie that says being praised and put on a pedestal is what women want. It’s what they TELL you they want. It may even be what THEY think they want. You see it in popular movies and music everywhere. But this is FANTASY for them, not reality. If you want proof, just look at their REAL reactions to this sort of praise in real life.
We see it all the time. The super nice guy treats the woman like a princess, takes her shopping, treats her to fine restaurants, buys her all the flowers and candy she wants. Then one day, out of “nowhere,” she dumps him for the bad boy. The guy who treats her like he could care less if she stays or leaves. Women love a challenge, someone who moves and behaves like a MAN – not a DESPERATE little boy seeking validation from her.
Putting a woman on a pedestal creates an UNBALANCED dynamic.
When you constantly worship a woman, you’re not treating her as an equal. You’re putting her ABOVE you. This can make her feel uncomfortable, suspicious of you, and even suffocated if you’re too clingy.
Women never RESPECT a needy man.
There’s nothing less attractive to her than someone who’s constantly putting her needs and desires above their own. All she sees is you not valuing yourself. This can do real damage to your confidence, self-esteem, and feelings of self-worth in the long run which can make it even more difficult for you to find a woman to show any interest in you in the future.
So the question is, HOW do you stop putting a woman on a pedestal and start attracting healthy, fulfilling relationships?
First, start by treating her like a NORMAL person, like an equal. Once you do this, she can see you eye-to-eye and she’ll naturally drop a LOT of the games, the BS drama, and playing ‘hard to get’. This alone puts you on a level playing ground and will even create an ATTRACTION, a magnetism to you. Women and men alike are naturally drawn to those who can look them in the eye and hold a casual conversation. Attractive or not, your encounters with women should be no different.
Next, start focusing on YOU and your strengths, what you bring to the table as a man. Realizing your strengths and focusing on them will help you value your worth and learn to set boundaries with your time and energy rather than just giving it AWAY to any pretty face who shows up. This will keep you centered and grounded in YOUR interests and values and will in turn, attract women who value YOU.
FAKING IT DOESN’T MAKE IT
What you DON’T DO, is try to fake your way up as being the man. Fake confidence is almost worse than none at all. A woman can see through your ACT so it has to be genuine. In other words, YOU have to believe it before she will. It all comes down to your true feelings of SELF-RESPECT. If you feel like she is God’s gift to the world just because she’s an attractive woman and you continue to treat her as such, you’re looking for hard times ahead brother. Take your time in building yourself up before putting yourself out there.
Finally, don’t be afraid to express YOUR desires and needs to a woman. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect and communication, so it’s always BEST to be open and honest about what you want from the beginning. The ONLY way to a real relationship is to look at it like this: “I have power, you have power, let’s double up and share our power TOGETHER.”
For some men, switching their mindset can take a lot of work. Getting out of the separation habits between men and women can hinder the potential for a healthy relationship or even just a casual connection with a quality woman. This is something I’ve specialized in for over 15 years and have helped thousands of men to achieve. To learn more about this and other related matters, signup for our email list on the blog home page and we will add you to our exclusive email list which grants you access to our newsletter, programs and all upcoming workshops and events.