Are you the type of guy who has multiple girl friends but can never find an actual GIRLFRIEND?
Do you often find yourself in the FRIEND ZONE with women?
Are you friends with women you wish you could pursue but you never know HOW to take it to that next level?
If so, this article is for YOU.
Brother, please understand, on a very basic level, sex and the deep desire for it are a big part of HUMAN nature. Men AND women crave sex more than you may realize. It takes TWO.
One unfortunate thing about our society is we’re taught to downplay this FACT.
Women downplay it in large part to protect their reputation and self image as being “respectable” while SOME men similarly downplay it so as to uphold an image of being a “good guy,” i.e. a guy who’s interested in HER, not just sex. Not to say that there aren’t SOME men out there who truly aren’t interested in just sex, but 9 times out of 10, men who play up this image are in major denial and if they ever DO want to get laid or find an actual girlfriend, LEARN to switch up their game plan.
As a man, suppressing or denying your sexual wants and needs is HIGHLY unnatural and counterproductive to your inherent manhood.
By hiding this part of yourself in the dark, you’re doing a massive DISSERVICE to YOU and the women in your life who may actually wish you expressed your interests. This self restriction is a form of DISHONESTY that can be attributed to a level of immaturity, cowardice, insecurity, and an overall lack of masculinity. And continually downplaying the sex you really want can SERIOUSLY alter your relationship with women as a whole, if you don’t check yourself ASAP. If this becomes a habit, you train yourself into being a SECRETIVE guy, one who lives a sort of double life, someone who hides his truth by default. This can lead you into real isolation, depression and ultimately do long term DAMAGE to your self esteem as a man.
So, the real question is WHY? Why do you hide your desires from women?
Is it fear? Do you dread the thought of “What would she think of me if she knew what I REALLY want from her?”
Maybe you think she’d be creeped out if she realized that you thought of her in a sexual way?
Or are you afraid that she might run away, call you a pig, or call the feminazi police on you for having a sexual interest in her?
The truth is, it’s MUCH more creepy to a woman when a guy who’s pretending to be her “friend” all of a sudden reveals his sexual interest in her.
It’s way more weird to her when you WANT her sexually but hold it back. This can lead to her wondering things like “what ELSE is he hiding? Is he a serial killer? Is he gay? Does have a whole other secret life he’s living?” And so on.
See, for women, sexuality is a very NATURAL thing. It’s feminine nature to be at ease with your sexuality and sexual desires. Women talk about sex and their desires ALL the time with their girlfriends. They’ll openly share their experiences and what guy did WHAT, and HOW, and what turned her ON, and all the WILD things they did, etc.
So for you, a POTENTIAL prospect, to beat around the bush and play it cool, OR nervous, she’s easily moving on to the next guy.
Learning to be honest and mature enough to act on your sexual desires with women is part of being a MAN.
When you hold back your sexual desires, you keep yourself stagnant. LIMITED. This is what puts you in the friend zone with women. If they’re taking time to share with you, to hang out and get to know you, even if it’s just an initial date or meetup and you don’t give ANY sense of interest – a simple compliment, for instance, on their hair, their outfit, their scent, something, ANYTHING that attracts you? They easily turn inward and question what they’re doing there with you. “Maybe he’s just not into me like that.”
Now, you’re just a friend.
This happens to a lot of men who, out of nervousness or fear, just talk and talk about whatever comes about and AVOID any real conversation and even hints of what they’re REALLY there for. Women aren’t dumb but they also aren’t mind readers. And they sure as hell aren’t going to put the first move on YOU. At least not to begin with. If you start EXPRESSING yourself a bit more and show some of your REAL interest, you’ll be surprised at how OFTEN women reciprocate. How often they let their guard down. We’re all born with an inside-meter that can read through bullshit. Whether you call it out or not is another thing. But, we as people, can FEEL if someone is being real with us or not. If we’re with someone for even a short amount of time, we can typically feel whether or not they’re being honest, doesn’t matter if it’s voiced or not.
So brother, what this means is, if you’re going to spend time with a woman who you’d like to get closer to, you have to LET HER KNOW. Let her know what you’re there for.
This doesn’t mean, just jumping out and saying “hey baby, let’s fuck.” NO. It’s about keeping yourself composed but still honest enough to show interest. And to get to this point, it does take some practice and a level of confidence and maturity. I’ve said it before, a true man knows what he wants and he knows how to get it. This applies to women and sex as well as many other things in life.
To get to this point, it’s first things first. We need to get to the ROOT of what may be your hold up here.
Ask yourself, what do you think would be SO BAD, if a woman you secretly like, found out what you REALLY want? What’s the worst case?
Another question to ask yourself.
What is it in your mind that tells you that your desire of sex is BAD? Where does this stem from? Did someone tell you this when you were younger? Did you face a real rejection from someone you shared your sexual thoughts with?
If a woman expressed a sexual interest in you, you wouldn’t think this would be creepy or offensive, would you? So who instilled this idea in YOUR mind, that as a man, your sexual desires are offensive or creepy?
This is a crucial CORE piece to get to in order to fully realize and understand. The rule is, you CAN’T move forward until you become AWARE of what the root issue is. And revisiting it and/or confronting it with your CURRENT state of being can quite likely turn it around so you can begin to move FORWARD. Something to consider as well, this isn’t JUST about women and sex. It’s about being willing and able to be REAL with yourself and express what you WANT in your life. This is paramount to being a true man and once accomplished, it carries over into EVERY aspect of your life – romantically, socially, professionally, and beyond.
If this is something you’ve been challenged with, contact me and let’s start advancing your quality of life ASAP. Message me at [email protected] and type the words LET HER KNOW in the subject line. I’ll reach back to you shortly after.
Be well brother,
Orlando